I really love Overheard In The Office. Here are some recent gems that I particularly liked:
Agent #1: Why is that dog wearing a “W” on its head?
Agent #2: That’s not a “W”; it’s obviously an “M.” It’s just upside down.
Bystander: Um…those are reindeer antlers.
Boss: I’m getting nailed to the wall here, guys! C’mon! I’m not Jesus Christ! Help me out!
Manager: Here you go.
Employee: Oh, thank goodness. This is what she’s looking for…I’m so glad you found it. I would have had to redo it right now.
Manager: I found it on your desk.
CSR #1: What does IT stand for?
CSR #2: Idiotic tendencies.
CSR #1: Oh, so that’s why we forward them all the stupid questions.
CSR on phone: Sir, would you mind slowing down just a little bit? You’re really giving me a lot of information, and it’s not really registering in my brain because I’m still trying to type in all the other crap you told me.
Worker: So the Christmas party is mandatory?
Boss: Of course not, but if you don’t show you’ll probably be ostracized.
Worker: …And I have to sign a waiver to drink?
Boss: Do you think a company of lawyers would let everyone drink, then drive, and not cover their asses?
Co-worker #1: Where is my breakfast burrito?
Co-worker #2: Sorry bud, I totally forgot to order you one.
Co-worker #1: Next time I shoot my .357 magnum at the range…I’m going to draw your face on the target.
VP: There is only so much you can do with one hand.
Co-worker: I’m not going to touch that.
VP: We have to create the problem that the customer will want to solve.
Co-worker #1: I’m really hot.
Co-worker #2: I’m turning the heat down to 90. If anyone’s cold then they can go into [Jessica]’s office, but first you have to take off your clothes because it’s a sauna in there.
Co-worker #3: You shouldn’t tell people to take their clothes off before going into [Jessica]’s office.
Worker #1: Do you have any time available to meet on Thursday?
Worker #2: It will be pretty tough; I have back to back meetings all day.
Worker #1: How about 11AM?
Worker #2: Okay, I have nothing scheduled at all between 9AM and 5PM.